Friday, December 11, 2009

Holiday Spirits (And Other Beverages)

Before anyone asks why I chose these particular victims... err... recipients for this post, I thought I'd offer the explanation on my own:

Allow me to paraphrase the words of great George Mallory - "Because they're there..."

...and, despite all their (false :P) modesty, they're just that much fun.

Happy holidays, boys. ;)

'Twas the night after Christmas, and all through the house
Boys nursed their hangovers ('drink' boys, and not 'douse'!) -
The ice box, so lately with liquor to spare,
Was emptied of all that was drinkable there!
The darlings had duly retreated to beds,
Carols outside drilling holes in their heads,
(Cuzzy still sporting his new Santa hat,
Hugging LUFC beanie bear... that'd be Matt.)
When out in the street there arose such a clatter,
Both sprang from their sleep: "WTF is the matter?!"

They flew to the windows, still half in a daze,
Tore open the curtains to pinpoint the craze,
One glance (although blurry) served clearly to show
The horrible fate that awaited below:
Rows upon rows of fangirls atwitter
(Boys' faces would make you think it was Death Eaters!)
Lead by Amanda, with Rebecca in tow,
Making their way through the slushed Christmas snow.

Boys' pulses were rapid, their breathings the same,
(Stop that thought right there! Honestly... For shame!)
And just as they thought they have witnessed the worst,
Girls took out the presents... and both the guys cursed.
Matt got complete MU 'home and away',
Cuzzy a Mount Everest paid holiday;
And (as if above was not bad by itself!),
Each got a PhotoShopped pic of himself:
Matthew in naught but a green Christmas wreath -
Cuzzy in baubles (and not much more beneath).

They paled at the sight, from the window stepped back
(poor Cuzzy suffered a mild heart attack),
Both thinking the same as girls' numbers increased:
"Make a run for it, or simply call the police?"
They ran - and were scarcely back under the covers,
When they heard the footsteps of marching Lewislovers;
'Twas then (and I have it from reliable source!),
Matt did Richard 3rd: 'Chris Cuzz for a horse!'

Brow furrowed in dread, he proceeded: "Good Lord!
I'll scream if they start on the Longbottom's sword..."
(Don't worry, Matt dear, all such reference we'll ditch
Not even Dags is THAT much of a bitch :P )
And right at that point both awoke 's if on cue,
Drenched in cold sweat, somewhat greenish in hue,
And - each boy bent over his end of the sink -
Silently vowed to ease up on the drink.

The moral of this story? Hmm, let me think...
"Thou shalt never mix thine fangirls and thine drinks"?
Oh, whom am I kidding?! There's no moral, folks -
I'm just better rhyming than I am telling jokes!

Ruby, love... I hope you approve.


  1. haha I LOVE it! ♥ Thanks Dags.

  2. lmao this was awesome!! im sure even cuzzy and matt will get a laugh out of it!!

  3. Thought the sneak peek last night was fab, but the finished version is brilliant. Thanks Dags, hope the boys enjoy it. Muwahhhhh!!

  4. this is brilliant dags !! loved it !!:)

  5. As Matt would say, MINT!
    Well done Dags, this is just brilliant! And I do so think Ruby would love it *tears up and laughs all at once* Thank you!!